Sometimes I find it hard to believe - not only did I have a baby, but now he's not a baby anymore, he's a little boy! This is him at 3 weeks old. So small, so fragile. At sixteen months, he has really started to become so much more independent, running around at the park, throwing himself face first down the slide, learning new words everyday, wanting to be able to put his shoes on himself...
Something that is often in the back of my mind is whether I am doing a good job as a mother...and what on earth does that mean? I think that people are often quick to judge mothers (and fathers), to jump to the conclusion that if a child is behaving in a certain way that then the mother must being doing something wrong, that if a child is crying then the mother must be doing something wrong and so on.
I also know that mothers can be so hard on themselves. I know I can be. I often feel guilty for wanting time to myself even though part of me knows that this is important. And then there are those times when Yashar starts screaming in the supermarket, or tries to hit me in the head with a toy or snatches pencils away from other kids at playgroup and, even though I know these things are 'normal' for this age, I wonder, am I doing something wrong, could I be doing something better?
So what is a 'good' mother?? Of course there are the basics - Yashar is fed, safe and generally healthy. But then more difficult questions emerge. Am I providing him with enough opportunities to develop and learn, and is he learning the right things, does he get enough attention from me and his Baba, am I strict enough, am I too strict, does he need more structure and organisation to his days, am I too 'go with the flow', is he having enough fun!? When is enough enough? And what about me?!
Everyone has their own way of dealing with it, there own style of parenting. But it's also so valuable to learn from other people's experiences. So, for you, where is the right balance? What do you think makes a good mother? What was it about your own mother that you are thankful for?
I would love to hear from you all.
5 months ago