Help! Yashar is now 9 months old. You can see a little glint of mischief in his eyes. He gets it from his Baba! (his Dad). He is a wonderful little baby but… I am tired! I need your advice and experience.When he was first born he was such a good little sleeper, only waking once or twice a night until he was about 4 or 5 months old. He had even slept right through the night a few times and I was like ‘I have got this so sussed!’
Then for 2 or 3 months he was waking 4 or 5 times a night. This was not long after we moved to Turkey and then he got sick so I hoped the sleeping would just get better when we were settled and he wasn’t sick anymore. And it has got a little better. He now wakes up 1 – 3 times a night (and totally wakes up at around 6am). If you don’t have children –have I put you off yet?!!
It is often pretty hard to get him to sleep during the day too. Ok, ok, I confess, I have probably been doing a few things that are not totally what I ‘should’ be doing – like feeding him to sleep, during the day and at night. Or walking him in the pram to sleep (on the way to my favourite café so I can have a quiet coffee). Or using a dummy (he has now stopped taking a dummy)…and there are probably more things...
So what should I do??? Should I just stick it out, or stop feeding him at night, ‘controlled crying’? Please! Tell me about your experiences or any advice you have. Even if they are not good experiences – at least they will make me feel better!
5 comments:
Hi. I saw your comment at Soulemama, and I thought I'd check out your blog. You're right, the "experts" - some of them anyway - would say you're doing all the wrong things. I think they're nuts. Read anything by Dr. William Sears and you'll probably feel better. Your son needs you and you're doing what you feel is the right thing for him. There's nothing wrong with that! The No-Cry Sleep Solution is great too. My solution? When my daughter wakes up after I've gone to bed, I just bring her into my bed. I don't notice her waking up as much once I can just roll over and nurse her. My daughter is 18 months. Babyhood only lasts a short time, not forever. Enjoy it!
Hello :) I can only ditto everything Deanna said - again, saw your comment at Soulemama and I couldn't have posted anything better. My daughter is now almost three and sleeps wonderfully, having nursed through the night in bed with us until she was 20mon (she made her own decision to go into her own bed, too). We have just finished nursing - again, she self-weaned - and it really is such a tiny time in your life. Trust yourself, trust your baby and I promise, the sleeplessness will pass.
Deanna's book recommendations are great - I would also add Buddhism for Mothers (even if you're not Buddhist, there are some great ways to bring peace and mindfulness into your life), and take a look at www.iwantmymum.com sometime - I have had a tremendous amount of support from this forum, particularly when sleep-deprived! It's very welcoming. Also the lovely, lovely blog of Georgie Treasure-Evans at http://motherland1.blogspot.com/ is well worth a read on gentle parenting.
All the best to you - I do remember how awful the tiredness is but it will pass!
Oh my. I am the voice of dissension. At this age, I wouldn't feed at night and I definitely wouldn't bring him into bed. But in the end? You have to do what you feel is right. Period. Walks so you can enjoy a coffee? Probably makes you a better mom. I know none of this helps. I also know how many moms I know that sooooo regret not nipping the sleep thing in the bud at an early age. (sleeping with a kickboxing 6 year old stinks!)
My second child was a terrible sleeper waking every two or three hours and not sleeping during the day unless I fed him to sleep but then he would wake as soon as I moved. I stopped feeding him at night when he was about 10 months old (he was fed during the day until we had a chat just after his third birthday and mutually agreed it was time)but used to go in and pat his back and whisper to him and he'd settle two or three times a night. People said he'd sleep better when he started walking but he walked at 7 months and it didnt seem to have any affect on his sleep patterns at all. I did find that having the radio on in his room almost inaudibly seemed to help and to this day he listens to music before he goes to sleep (he's 14 now). I agree with Deanna babyhood only last such a short period of time, the more you can relax and just go with the flow the better. Babies have different personalities just like adults some are just better at relaxing/sleeping than others. As I said before I demand fed Mac until he was three despite warnings by well meaning (Im sure ) people that I was spoiling him and he is one of the most well adjusted, independent, non judgemental, go with the flow kids I know. I think you have to figure out what is right for you and yashar and he does look like such a happy wee boy in that pic so you must be doing something right!
I do not have any children but I am the oldest of 8 kids and I am a nanny. If your baby has no normal reason to wake up during the night (he is not ill, not in pain, he is not hungry) then he is just being a bit naughty and "testing" his parents (which is normal)! When he does that, I think you should go and see him and explain to him gently that he has to sleep, and mummy and daddy need to sleep too (babies can understand much more than what adults think!). Then leave his bedroom - let him cry if he does, he will eventually fall asleep. It will be a tiring and difficult night, but usually parents just have to do this once and it works! I have experienced it a number of time. It will also benefit your baby. Hope you will find this advice hopeful!
Yashar looks adorable!
Post a Comment